No Bitterness in Goodbyes

Writing this long overdue post while crying to Wherever I Go to Hannah Montana in the car outside my childhood home may not be the best decision I’ve ever made so forgive any overly dramatic parts of this. But over-sharing on the internet in this day and age seems to be what sells so... at the cost of how stable you all perceive me, here we go!!! Basically what I want this post to be about is how you don’t have to be bitter when saying goodbye. You don’t have to act like leaving high school, your hometown, or in my case both, isn’t scary. You don’t have to act like you aren’t sad just to validate where your next chapter is taking you. I think I’ve said this before that life is all about balance, and the sweet spot I’m coming to know and love is that I can be appreciative of what a place, person, or experience has given me while still looking ahead and being optimistic for better days. And maybe some of you will think this is weird but, having a fun and memorable high school experience - being sad to leave and anxious for what’s to come isn’t a bad thing!!! It doesn’t mean you pEaKeD iN HiGh sChoOL, it simply means that you appreciated that stage of life for all that it was. Yeah, you had an early curfew. But your dog waited at the door every night for you to walk in, you’ll miss that one day. Yeah, you had to see the same people every single day. But didn’t that seating chart in your 2nd block end up changing your life? Yeah, you had to eat the same Lunchable in a freezing cold gym for four years. But didn’t you spend it laughing hysterically with your friends? My point is you don’t have to remember it as anything other than a beautiful contribution to your life. There is no room for bitterness or resentment. Even if your experience was characterized by a lot of dark days and life kept kicking you while you were down, those trials can be turned to words of encouragement and wisdom for someone who will cross your path later in life that will need it. There is value in every experience, remember that!

And to those of you reading who are younger than me, this applies to far more than just graduating. Think of that one friend who carried you through a stage of life but you all ended up drifting apart, the job you are leaving after 10+ years, whatever it may be... there is no place for bitterness or resentment there. Remember it for what it taught you and what it meant to you at the time, that’s the secret to making peace with goodbyes. Someone will always be leaving and life is in a constant state of change. I think back to my life a year ago today, as reminded by my Snapchat memories, I was on the beach with 3 of my best friends blissfully unaware of the fact that in a year I would be a week away from leaving behind all I’ve ever known and forced into goodbyes for God knows how long to some of the people I love most in my life. But I let that realization serve as a reminder to appreciate every chapter.

You will never be as young as you are right now, there is no time to waste longing for an outdated version of life!! Keep evolving! Keep adapting! Think about it, wouldn’t we all be painfully bored if we had never left the 5th grade?? Sounds stupid, but like... seriously. Change is good, change is fun, change is something to be embraced for it is both a goodbye and a hello. Personally, I often times let my pride get in the way and I hold back acknowledging how good something I had was because if I downplay it, the next move looks all that much better. But one things beauty is not the absence of another’s. To tie it all together and try to condense this message, let high school be high school, let your gap year be your gap year. Middle school was middle school and your 20s will be just that. Life is life and all we have to do is live it! So although this season of life is drawing to a close and saying goodbye is hard, I’m choosing to remember the wise words of my favorite author John Green (cliché I know), “every pain of loss tells a story of love.”

Hey you made it! That felt really good to just escape into my Notes app and type this out for a while, life has literally been so crazy lately and finding time for things that aren’t actually required of me has been difficult. I’ve put a lot of pressure on myself lately to write something. I really wanted to be consistent with this because you know ~consistency is key~ But I think letting the words come to me on their own time made this a really special post. I hope that made sense and that you enjoyed it. As always if you want to discuss any of the topics I write about or have any feedback don’t be a stranger! Talk soon, Maddie <3